I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
