My brain says no but my pants say off.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
