Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
