I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
