I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
