too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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