u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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