I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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