If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
