Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
