I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
