I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
