I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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