I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
