I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
