jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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