Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
