he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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