What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
