i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
