For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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