I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
