She said her name was "party"
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
