so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
