Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
