week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
