i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
