I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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