:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize