just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
