Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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