dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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