i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
