I cannot find my penis.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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