TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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