tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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