i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
