i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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