as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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