I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
