No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
