get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
