oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
