what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
