okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
