these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
