Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize