Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
