he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
