Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
