soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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