So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
