If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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