If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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