In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
just tell him i said nine months
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
